Richard Tocci

Richard Tocci
Just when you thought it was safe, I show up...


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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Superman, Pay Up...

I finally broke down and bought Superman Returns today, with a bit of trepidation. I'm a big superhero fan, and superhero movie fan, and, like so many others, saw this movie in the theater. I was highly impressed with the newer, updated flying effects, the new cast (Kevin Spacey is just brilliant as Lex Luthor, better than Gene Hackman, I believe), and the story wasn't bad, either. I also like the casting of Brandon Routh -- he's a clone of Chris Reeve and plays both Superman and Clark Kent very well.

If you were keen enough to figure it out early enough, or the big hints hit you about halfway into the movie, you found that Lois Lane's boy is the son of Superman, though he appears to be plagued with all types of health problems. He later defends his momma, Lois Lane, by shoving (actually, it was more like throwing) a piano into a henchman that was smacking his mother around.

What got my head going was child support.

Yes, I thought about child support. You know, here's a guy that flies around saving the world. No one knows who he is, where he lives, what else he does outside of flying around and saving the world, and he goes and gets Lois Lane knocked up, leaves the friggin' galaxy for 5 years chasing his extinct home planet, comes back and simply settles right back into his life. Except now, he's got a kid, and Lois has not told her fiancee that this kid is the son of the most power person on the planet Earth.

How does someone go about filing for child support on Superman? Do you go to social services and file, not knowing the guy's address? No one even knows if he HAS an address. And then, how do you collect?

Superman is supposed to be the upstanding guy, and I'm sure he'd pay up, but it's just one of those things I thought about. Superman flying over to the house, handing Lois an envelope with cash or a check, and asking about taking little Jason for the weekend. So then, Jason finds out about the Fortress of Solitude, and Lois wonders how the hell he paid for THAT thing, and wants more money. Superman starts to do weekend and night gigs at parties, catching crooks and saving the world in between gigs and working at the Daily Planet (where half of his pay check, if you recall from the original Superman movie, goes to Martha).

The poor kid also has asthma and a few other things, that apparently go away once he chucks the piano across the room. Who's paying for THAT?

Then what about grandparents? Poor Martha Kent will never be able to see the kid because that will give away Superman's identity, and it seems Superman doesn't want to give THAT away, even to the woman with whom he had sex and that gave birth to his child.

Superman is also a little creepy, spying on the house with his X-Ray Vision and super hearing, pretty much whenever he wants.

I told you, I just start thinking about this and it just goes on...

There were a couple of things I spotted in the movie this time around, and I think I spotted one of them in the theater. Jack Larson, who played the bartender in this movie, played the original Jimmy Olsen in the Superman TV series of the 50s. He looks darn good being in his mid-80s. Also, in the Space Shuttle, Sir Richard Branson played the shuttle engineer. Later when I looked up the cast, I found Sam Branson, his son, I think, played right along side him. In reading the trivia section of IMDB for this movie, there were more cameos I didn't catch. I love this stuff -- it's all very interesting to me. I also heard Gotham City mentioned, recognized the homage to Action Comics #9, the location where the first Kryptonite was found, and the bit about air travel being the safest way to fly.


The Guptas said...

Your nerd rating just bumped up a couple of notches.....I love it.

Unknown said...

You should see the response this got on Facebook. An attorney that I knew as a kid explained the legalities of proving or otherwise procuring child support, and how it would be nearly impossible. I even had a scientist\teacher explain that the union was improbable due to the fact that there is no documented case of human\alien procreation and the ramifications of such a union would be difficult to explain.

It went on to attempt to explain the male fascination with superheroes, why we want them with their shirts on, and which comics are required reading. It was a VERY interesting read.