Richard Tocci

Richard Tocci
Just when you thought it was safe, I show up...

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The contents of this blog are my own comments and opinions and do not reflect those of my family, friends, colleagues, clients, employers, or anyone else I may know. Additionally, their comments and opinions are not a reflection of me or this blog. Any links contained in posts are maintained by third parties and are not under the control of this blog, and as such, this blog is not responsible for their content. All links are provided "as is" with no explicit or implicit warranty of any kind.

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Saturday, August 29, 2009

In A Cup

Today, Alex did something I've never seen any child do in my entire life.

Today, before heading out to run a quick shop for basics, Alex announced, as he always does, that he needed to go potty. I informed him, as I usually do, that he doesn't need to ask or announce this, but just go.

So, off he went into his bathroom, and I heard him pee. But, it sounded different.

Then, I didn't hear a flush. I didn't hear any water of any kind, other than that of the tinkle of him peeing. Curious, and scared, I went to his bathroom and asked him, through the door, "Is everything alright?" He says, "Yes, Daddy", and then opens the door, and I see why nothing made sense.

On the closed toilet lid was a cup. The same cup I use to rinse his hair, and to bathe he and Hayden. In the cup was where he decided to pee. He picked it up and proudly handed it to me, smiled, jacked up his drawers, and said "Now, I have to wash my hands."

I was dumbfounded, and then I started to smile, and then I laughed. He laughed with me. I had to stop and let him know this was not OK in the least, and that I never wanted to see this again. Unless, of course, if he's taking a physical for sports, and then, well, I still don't care to see it. But it's good to know that, when the time comes, he'll be ahead of everyone else, and won't have a problem peeing in a cup.

I thought about keeping it and testing it for drugs, just to make sure the boy was clean. Why else would he do this?

I talked to his mother later in the day. She and her new man are expecting a baby, and it turns out that Alex walked in on her peeing in a cup as part of her daily pregnancy routine. I told her the story, she cracked up, and I understood everything.

Moral? No, sorry, I don't have one...just keep the bathroom door locked if you need to pee in a cup...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Random Crap

I haven't posted in a while, so I'll just go over a few things that have been on my mind at various times.

What's the point in wearing those shorts that go down about to about mid calf, or in some cases, damn near to your ankles without tapering? Do you want shorts or not? Make a decision, and quit looking stupid.

College kids are back in town this week, and I love them, but please, for the love of God, go over your Right of Way rules, please. I will hit you because, as Kathy Bates said "Face it, honey. I'm older, and I have more insurance." Or I'll just flip you The Bird, and if you come after me, I'll pretend you're from my area of the world (East Coast, baby) and just attempt to run you over.

You ever buy a snack and say "Wow, these used to be bigger." Were they really bigger, or did you just get bigger and in perspective, they seemed to get smaller? Either way, I'd bet they are still no better for you now than they were back then. Or are you like me, and can actually now eat about ten of those snacks now, and one just seems to damn insignificant?

Connery, Craig, Brosnan, Moore, George Lazenby, Dalton. Period. End of discussion. No, Moore sucks as Bond overall, sorry. He was just not that good a Bond to me. Judi Dench is the best M, Q needs to come back, and the chair thing was just so wrong.

How did Padme Amidala NOT know she was having twins? Wasn't the medical technology superior, and she didn't have an ob-gyn appointment, not even once?

One skill my children will learn is swimming. They will not wait till they are 24 years old before they learn. And they'll learn how to drag someone else with them, because one day, that might be necessary.

Jim Johnson is dead, Vick is an Eagle, and the Eagles drafted offense. If Jaworski comes in as a motivational speaker, I quit. OK, no, not really, but damn, could it get any weirder?